So I just typed a post.  Then deleted it.  Decided that what I could write wasn't worth your time reading and what I wanted to write, well, I can't write about it.

On a rainy, dreary, cold day like today is in the great state of Texas, I'll just post a clip from one of my recent favorite movies, "The Other Guys".  It's days like these that I can totally understand how the seasons can affect your attitude and mood.  Which is why by 7:00 tonight, I was already showered, in my pjs, and cuddled up on the couch with my laptop, searching the net and watching tv with the hubs.  And also why I needed a laugh.

Hope this makes you laugh, no matter what the weather is like in your part of the world.

my all over the place post

Thanks all for giving me ideas to name the room.  Julie's suggestion won since before we painted it grey, the room was yellow and we called it by it's color.  So the Grey Room it is!

I received an email the other day from our AFS who will be working with us once we get a placement.  It's already time for our quarterly evaluation!  Basically she'll come check out our house and make sure we're still keeping medicine and cleaning supplies locked up, electric outlets covered, etc.  I'm excited about meeting her.  The evaluation is a few weeks down the road, and of course I'm hoping for a placement to be sooner than that.

D and I spent New Year's Eve with friends eating dinner at PF Chang's and coming back to our house to watch "The Other Guys".  A pretty low-key night, but enjoyable!  I've made a few personal resolutions this year that I might share at some other time.  How about you?  Do you make resolutions?  Or is your resolution to not make a resolution?

D and I have been trying out a new church for the past few months and we absolutely love it.  We missed this past Sunday due to the holidays so I can't wait till tomorrow.  My faith is really being stretched and challenged- partly due to this new church and partly due to reading a fantastic (but not so comfortable) book about giving up the American dream.  My resolutions are a result of both of these things.

The start of a new year brings so many things- hope, renewal, optimism, new beginnings!  I pray that 2011 is all of these things and so much more!

"The Room" revealed

We have yet to name this room.  We don't want to call it a nursery, because that invites the assumption of pregnancy/babies and we're not and don't know the age of our first placement.  It's not called "The Kid's Room" mostly because I don't like the term 'kid'.  I think it all started in kindergarten when my teacher told me that kids were goats or something like that.  I don't want to call it the "foster" room because I feel like that separates them from the family.  Like I'm leading a tour and saying, "That's the guest bedroom, and here's the foster room.  That's where our foster kids stay."  Oops- I said the 'k' word.  Cross that out.

Anyway, it has affectionately been titled, "The Room".

"Les, where should I put this car seat your friend gave us?"
"Oh, go put it in the room."

And we both know what I'm talking about.  If you have any ideas for what to call this room, please share.  We're lacking in originality.

This past week, D and I have been busy installing hardwood flooring in our living room area.  D has been working on refinancing our house since interest rates are considerably lower than when we bought (almost) 3 years ago.  We wanted to make sure our house appraised high enough and since hardwood floors have been on my wish list for, oh, about 3 years, we decided to take the plunge and do our first major home improvement project since we moved in.  My sister wanted to see pictures of it all finished so I stole D's phone this evening and took pictures.


Wait, weren't you just talking about the room?  Why are we now talking about new hardwood floors?  I want to see the room!

I know, I got a little sidetracked with my story.  I'll blame that on my other sister who tells the longest stories that sometimes always have a point. 

Since I was taking pictures of the living room, I also snapped a few of The Room and thought I'd share them with you.

 Sorry the lighting isn't the best.  They were taken with at night with an iPhone, so the quality isn't the greatest.  But hopefully you get the picture.

And seriously, if you have a name for The Room- please let me know. 

Survivor- Christmas Edition

I've never been so thankful for family drama.

It kept my mind off the sadness I've been feeling lately- of spending another Christmas as a family of two.

I survived Christmas 2010! Now on to 2011... please let this be our year.

Procrastinating

This week has been exhausting! And it's only Tuesday. Today when I got home from school, I collapsed on the couch. And haven't gotten up yet. Thankfully, D knows how to cook a delicious breakfast dinner. Because that's what I sweet-talked him into doing.

And now he's doing the dishes!

I should use the energy I've saved from not having to cook dinner or clean up afterward to cross some items off my to-do list. Like our Christmas cards. Or finishing getting started wrapping gifts. But instead, I'm blogging. Checking face.book. Reading another article about Muschamp going to Florida (holds back tears). Looking at my to-do list to see if anything has checked itself off. Nope!

As always happens this time of the year, but especially this year, I've spent a lot of time looking back to where we were last year. In the midst of the toughest months of our lives. But I also like to think back to the years before that. Because we didn't always have problems identifying ourselves by our infertility. We were a hopeful couple-innocent, naive- to the journey that was ahead of us. Which is why I'm so glad we did this last year:

photo taken by my talented sister-in-law

No, we're not professional ice skaters (as if you needed help figuring that out). And yes, D did get teased by some of our friends about the photos. These are the pictures we sent out in our Christmas cards last year. Was this the happiest time of our life? No. But having these pictures captured that even in those difficult times, when we weren't sure if we would be able to have a biological family, that we could still have fun together. That we did still have fun together. That what was happening in our calendars- the appointments, referrals, and additional appointments- did not define who we were.

At the end of the day, we were still D and Les. A (self-proclaimed) fun-loving couple.

And I'm off to finish the dishes D left for me to do. :)

see you later

Today I say good-bye to my homeroom mom-turned-sarcastic friend-turned amazing source of advice and support through this whole stinky journey. Her husband is taking a job in Minnesota, so they are moving there over Christmas break.

I can still remember one of the first times I met with her, before the school year started, and after talking about events, sign-up sheets, etc., the conversation turned to how she and her husband adopted their daughter (my future student) from China. I remember telling her how I felt God had placed adoption on my heart, and more specifically, China. She probably heard people tell her that all the time, and I can remember thinking, "She doesn't believe me." D and I had started trying to start our family two months before this meeting.

Fast forward a year and a half

Remember this post from January? She was the face.book friend who sent me the adoption conference invitation. I said it then, but I'll say it again. She had no idea that we were having issues starting a family. In fact, we hadn't even talked about adoption since that first meeting. But she sent the invitation. And we accepted. It sounds so cliche, but our lives are forever changed.

A,
Thank you so much for your support, your prayers, your encouragement, your courage to ask tough questions. Thank you for being someone in the flesh who understands what we're going through. What I'm going through. Thank you for caring, for making me laugh, for joining me in my sarcastic ways. I am so grateful for being able to call you my friend. And this is no good-bye. Just a see you later.
Les

This is a dumb question, but anyone else having holiday blues? I've made it harder on myself by truly believing that this Christmas would be different. And it's not. And that's so hard. It's been a long time since IF has made me cry, but I've been shedding many a tear lately.

I'm praying for each and every one of you- those that are still on this side and those that have crossed to the other side, because I know sometimes, even that can't heal IF.

Year In Review