baby sisters and adoption

It occurred to me the other day as I was talking to the mom of one of A's classmates at 'school' that A must have a different sense of where little brothers/sisters come from.  The mom was sharing with me that her son, J, was going to be a big brother and that she'd want tips on how to get J to make the transition from being the only child to being a big brother.  And I thought, I'm probably not the person to give tips. 

You see, we didn't prepare A for the arrival of H.  In his mind (I imagine), he went to bed one night as an only child and woke up to a baby sister in the morning.  Does he think this is what happens in all families?  Now I know this happens in normal (not foster care) families as well- when moms go into labor in the middle of the night and a grandparent comes over to baby-sit the sleeping child while mom and dad go to the hospital to deliver.  But those families have (hopefully) had 9 months to prepare for this transition- to talk about the change that was going to happen.  We didn't tell A anything, not even when we put him to bed that night.  I think, in our minds, we didn't want to say anything in case something changed before H arrived- which we've definitely learned can happen! 

While A made the transition exceptionally well and he loves his little sister dearly, I can imagine that this change can be very tough on any family- even those who are given more time to prepare.  I remember my nephews anxiously awaiting the birth of my youngest nephew, and constantly asking their mom when they were going to the hospital to pick up their brother.  I think one even thought a brother was purchased at the hospital. 

So maybe we missed our chances of preparing A for a little sister but I can't wait until we get an adoption date so we can start talking about that with A.  I don't know why we haven't before, I guess I (again) feel like nothing should be said until we have a date to look forward to.  I want him to be comfortable with telling others that he's adopted.  I want him to know that he has a mom who loved him enough to give him to his Mommy and Daddy so we could give him what she wasn't able to.  I want him to know that she gave him his name- that that will always be part of him and that we gave him his middle and last name, so he would always be part of us.  I want the word adoption to be a commonplace word to him- no big deal.  

And speaking of adoption, there's a very good chance that we will become the forever parents to two little ones- at the same time!  We'll find out more leading up to our next court date in February, but things are looking more promising than ever!