A few weeks ago, Foxy asked in her comment about the process for adopting A, so I thought I'd walk you through. First, A's situation is not typical in that he was placed in our home as a foster placement but looking for an adoptive home. Usually children come into your home as a foster placement looking to reunite with their family or as a legally free placement (ready for adoption). A fits in between those two categories which is helpful for us because we skipped over the 18 months he's already spent in foster care, waiting for his parents to work services. So our waiting time until adoption isn't as long as it could have been. All that to say, nothing's a done deal until the judge tells us we're A's parents.
Basically, we've had A for three months now. There has been one court hearing (which we thought would get more things accomplished- I wrote about that here) with another court hearing scheduled in a few months. After that court hearing, we wait 90 days for him to be moved into adoptive placement. Which just means that instead of us being considered his foster home, we're would be his adoptive home. Adoption can take place after that. So if you do the math, we could adopt A as early as this fall, but realistically, I don't expect it to happen in 2011. But when it does, we are celebrating big!
A continues to love people and truly doesn't know a stranger. He tells everyone hi and bye-bye everywhere we go. Sometimes after he's been playing quietly in his playroom, he'll come running into wherever we are and get in our face to say, "Hi!" Then back to playing he goes! His favorite answer to any question right now is, "No." As in, "A, are you ready to go home?" "No." "Did you have fun today?" "No." He says it in a cute, innocent voice as of now, but I know the days of the defiant, "NO!" are right around the corner...
When A first started calling us Mama and Da-Da, he usually used Mama more often to refer to either of us. D would correct him and say, "No, I'm Da-Da." I would joke with D and say A already knows who the cooler parent is- which is the furthest thing from the truth. A has so much fun with D, whether they're mowing the lawn together, watering the grass, or D is giving him a bath- there is sure to be an abundance of laughter involved. And now A is definitely calling for his Da-Da. When he wakes up in the morning. When he goes to bed at night. When Mama tells him something he doesn't like. ha! D has been out of town the past two days and his absence has been noted by a little boy in our household. He was so happy to see Da-Da last night when he walked through the door.
And after two days of parenting solo, I was too! :)
Thanks for the details about the process. I have a relatively new job with the County, and have learned so much about social services including child protective services and the foster care system. It is all so complex.
ReplyDeleteI've been so impressed that your experience has been so positive, or at least that has been my perception from where I sit. It is pretty amazing to think that its been over a year since you first started down the path to adoption. That was right around the time that I had just started blogging.
A sounds like the most adorable little guy. I picture him being just as cute as the Little One that I love spending time with. She makes me laugh and smile so much, and I can only imagine how wonderful it must be to hear him call you guys Mama and Da-Da. My heart melts just reading that.
Mea was a straight foster to adoption placement as well. When she came home to live with us, at thirteen months old, we knew we needed to wait the mandatory six months and then with "fingers crossed" no issues, she would be our daughter.
ReplyDeleteShe had been at the same foster fome from 10 days old. After they determined that the TPR hearing was going to happen, and her foster mom who had her from the beginning had made the hard decision not to adopt her, they started looking for a family.
Thank God, we were the ones!
I hope for your family, that everything goes as smoothly as it did for ours.