Done. Now more waiting...

Everything has been turned in on the foster front- including our references. We should be hearing from our agency this week about scheduling a short interview and then the home study. The receptionist I spoke with on Friday told me not to be discouraged if the home study isn't scheduled for 2-3 weeks. Easier said than done. But now that I'm done with the long checklist, I'm bored out of my mind. I know, if you're not a teacher who gets the summer off, you don't feel sorry for me at all. I'm scouring the house for things to do, chores to check off, minor improvements to be made. And it's only been two days. I need an intervention! haha.

And on the potential adoption front- still no news from J, but since we do go to the same church, I actually saw her (Z) today. I was getting coffee after the service and went to the syrup table to sweeten my drink up a bit and there she was. I was thinking, "What do I do? What do I do?" Then I told myself, "Be calm. She doesn't know who you are. Go get your chocolate syrup to make your coffee even sweeter than it already is." And I did. But it was really weird to be standing two feet from someone who has the ability to make our wildest dream come true. Or not.

An update on the post from last time- yeah, those egg, bacon, cheese muffin things... the first recipe of PW's that we didn't love to death. It was kinda sad for both of us. We'd kinda come to trust all of her recipes as things that we would absolutely love. But our love streak has come to an end... It was going to happen eventually.

IF Ideas

So I have a friend who has been trying for about 5 months to get pregnant. She's had issues with her body since she was 20 and has always feared that starting a family would not be easy for them. Her doctors are wanting to go ahead and begin testing both her and her hubby as early as next month to see what steps they should take. Needless to say, she's experiencing the emotions we all have felt. I can remember the roller coaster of emotions felt when you're trying month after month with nothing to show for it... even if it really hasn't been that long.

As they begin this testing, I remember back to our testing and how lonely it is to sit in the waiting room, to drive home after hearing bad news again, to walk past the nursery wing at church empty-handed. I pray that their testing goes very differently than ours, but I want to be there for her no matter what. Do you have any ideas on ways to lift her spirits? Did you have friends do special things for you? I just want her to know that I'm thinking about her and that she's not walking this path alone.

Still no news on Z, but after face.book stalking (yes, I'm not above that) I did see that she was at a youth event Tuesday night, so hopefully J was able to talk to her about us.

As for fostering, we passed our fire inspection (the second try, no less) and have both had our TB tests done. I'll deliver everything to our agency's office Friday and hope to have our home study scheduled for next week. I really want to get certified with a couple weeks to spare before school starts back up.

Meanwhile, I've been busy being little miss Betty Crocker at home. ha! I made homemade chocolate chip cookies yesterday and today I'm going to make these to have for breakfast tomorrow. It's a Pioneer Woman recipe. I love her. We haven't met a recipe of hers that we didn't like. Yum!

Back from vacation

We're back! We arrived home Sunday afternoon after a 10-day road trip through the state of Colorado. I saw the Mesa Verde cliff dwellings, rode the cog to the top of Pike's Peak, survived white water rafting under the Royal Gorge bridge, hiked to the base of Bridal Veil falls, and relaxed in the town of Telluride in our amazing condo. All in all, we both had fun. However, there will be no more 15-passenger-van-vacations for me. I can't take it! If we do another vacation with his family, we'll just meet them at the destination. And that's all I'm going to say about that. :)

...

I wish I could give you more of an update about Z (the pregnant 16 year-old), but here's what I have:
She broke the news to her dad this past weekend. Our youth minister is supposed to be telling her about us this week. She's gone to see the doctor and everything looked good. And we think she's 6-8 weeks pregnant, which should put her due around March of next year. I feel that since she's taking these steps we might be out of the woods abortion-wise. But please continue to pray for her- for strength as she's facing tough decisions, for courage, for wisdom.

...

On the foster care front, we are so close to being done with everything before the home study. The fire marshal comes tomorrow, our TB tests should all be done this week, and hopefully our references are submitting their paperwork. Then it's the grueling home study and finally- CERTIFICATION! The sooner we get certified, the sooner we can have a child placed with us, and the more time I have to bond with the child before school starts back up. Of course, this is my time line. I think everyone dealing with IF knows how time lines work- they don't. ;)

Long Overdue Update

First off, I just want to say how excited I am for Julie and her hubby Jeff. They're pregnant! I'm so happy for them. I pray that this little miracle would grow to be a healthy baby and that Julie's pregnancy would go smoothly. Congratulations, guys!

And my heart has been breaking for Rach. I know the loss they are dealing with right now is devastating. I can't even begin to comprehend all the emotions they are feeling. And I so wish I knew her IRL so I could do something, anything for her. Rach, I'm praying for you constantly. You are on my mind all the time and I pray that you would feel His presence now more than ever.

...

Since I last posted (which, embarrassingly, was in May), we have endured 30+ hours of foster training, filled out form after form after form, cleaned our house from top to bottom and child-proofed our house to the max. We had our health inspection yesterday and we passed! I'll go to the fire marshal today to fill out the form for our fire inspection. We still have TB tests, a few more forms, and the big, intimidating home study to endure complete.

We've decided on fostering children ages 0-3 since that would be a realistic age if we had a biological child of our own. One thing that's been fun has been fixing a room for a child, since once we're certified we could get a placement call immediately. I've always wanted to do a gender-neutral room because if we were to ever get pregnant, I didn't want to know the s.ex of the baby. Now, it makes even more sense to do this because we really won't know the gender until the call. We've painted, ordered a crib, I made cornices for the windows, and re-purposed some other furniture we had. I'll post pictures when it's finished.

Tomorrow we leave for CO with D's family for vacation. Seven immediate family members + 2 grandparents + 15 passenger van (yes, you read that right) + 10 days= a very interesting time. And that's all I'm going to post about that. :)

Finally, I have a huge prayer request. D plays softball with our church youth minister (J) and after the game Monday, he was pulled aside by J to talk privately. When D got in the car, I asked him what it was all about and he told me that J asked him to pray about it and then talk to me. I told him he better pray really fast! haha. J told him that there is a 16 year-old girl in the youth group who is pregnant and contemplating abortion. J has been counseling her and since he's a reference for us for foster care, he knows about our situation, so he asked us if we would be interested in adopting the baby. D and I both prayed about it Monday night- apparently he fell asleep praying about it and dreamed that we adopted the baby, and when he woke up, he was so excited. We both knew right away that we were supposed to give her this option, not that we know she's going to decide to do this, but we know that we would rather that baby live. D called J yesterday evening and told him our answer, so J will be talking to her soon (maybe today). He also was going to contact a lawyer that goes to church and talk to him about the situation to see, if she decides to do this, what would happen next.

Please, please pray for this teenage mother. I can't imagine the emotions and fears she's feeling right now. Of course we would love to be the parents and raise this child, but my prayer right now is that she chooses life for this baby, whether it be her raising the child or placing it in an adoptive home. If your views on abortion prevent you from praying that, just pray for her as she's going through this.

Six...

...more days of school!

I am ready to be done with this school year.

This summer, I plan on doing lots of things:

• work on my tan
• read!
• go to the library!
• finally go get my massage that I was given for our anniversary last June
• trip to the beach
• trip to Colorado with D's family
• visit the state capital
• go to a minor league baseball game
• try out this famous bbq place
• work on fixing up a bassinet that D found on Craig's List (think positive thoughts, Les)
• spend time with friends

I can't wait!

6 more days. (!)

And she showed...

Yep, AF has arrived. I really find it funny that it never fails... once I speak about it being late, it shows up the next day.

As for the news that I've been meaning to share on here... well, it's a long story- but here goes!

The appointment with the RE went really well. We came out very encouraged with the success rate they thought was appropriate for us- 70-80% each cycle. She gave us each things that we need to do- blood work, the dreaded HSG, and D's biopsy, of course. The estimated price of this IVF adventure... $14,000. Have I ever mentioned that IF really stinks?

Needless to say, we don't have that kind of money readily available. We've been saving since January because it was becoming pretty clear that starting our family would not be cheap. But we are nowhere near that amount. And I will not let infertility drive us into debt.

As I've mentioned before, I would love to have a summer baby due to teaching and time off. This would mean that we would need to have the money saved up by August so we could do IVF in September. And if we don't have the money saved, we would need to wait another year. The probability of us having the money in a few more months is pretty slim. And I couldn't stand the thought of waiting until next year, having a failed cycle and being in the exact same situation again.

At the same time, the idea of foster care has continued to be brought to mind. In fact, I shared this with someone 1-2 months ago, but told them there's no way I could ever do it. Insert this tugging at my heart and the need to do something (anything!) while we're waiting, we found ourselves at an informational meeting last week and have been busily working on the application to become foster parents! We're both super excited but nervous and scared at the same time. We realize that while we'll be able to provide a safe, loving environment for a child or two, the heartbreak we'll experience if/when they are removed from our home for permanent placement will be difficult to endure. We would love to be able to adopt out of foster care, but are also aware that the younger the child is, the more likely that relatives will show up wanting to care for them. And as D likes to say, "We want a baby."

Classes start June 1st and end June 24th. Then we have our home study and (hopefully) will be certified!

In closing this post, I want to share the song that really got this all started. I know, it sounds so cliche that a simple song could spark someone to make such a drastic decision from the path they were originally on, but it's true.



I've never seen the movie "Fireproof" and really had no idea when I first heard this song that it was from this movie. But now I think I'm going to have to watch it... it'll be a tear jerker.

A thought just occurred to me... this song completely goes with the title of my blog!

42

No, that's not the number of days of school left. Praise the Lord, the count is down to 9 days!

It's not that domino game my in-laws love playing so much that I dread hearing the clinking sound of dominoes being dumped onto a table.

It's my cycle day number. My cycle is usually 32-34 days. I know that there's no way (let me repeat- no. way.) that a pregnancy could be possible. At least I don't think there is.

I partly believe that just writing this down will bring AF on soon.

We'll see...