Long Overdue Update

First off, I just want to say how excited I am for Julie and her hubby Jeff. They're pregnant! I'm so happy for them. I pray that this little miracle would grow to be a healthy baby and that Julie's pregnancy would go smoothly. Congratulations, guys!

And my heart has been breaking for Rach. I know the loss they are dealing with right now is devastating. I can't even begin to comprehend all the emotions they are feeling. And I so wish I knew her IRL so I could do something, anything for her. Rach, I'm praying for you constantly. You are on my mind all the time and I pray that you would feel His presence now more than ever.

...

Since I last posted (which, embarrassingly, was in May), we have endured 30+ hours of foster training, filled out form after form after form, cleaned our house from top to bottom and child-proofed our house to the max. We had our health inspection yesterday and we passed! I'll go to the fire marshal today to fill out the form for our fire inspection. We still have TB tests, a few more forms, and the big, intimidating home study to endure complete.

We've decided on fostering children ages 0-3 since that would be a realistic age if we had a biological child of our own. One thing that's been fun has been fixing a room for a child, since once we're certified we could get a placement call immediately. I've always wanted to do a gender-neutral room because if we were to ever get pregnant, I didn't want to know the s.ex of the baby. Now, it makes even more sense to do this because we really won't know the gender until the call. We've painted, ordered a crib, I made cornices for the windows, and re-purposed some other furniture we had. I'll post pictures when it's finished.

Tomorrow we leave for CO with D's family for vacation. Seven immediate family members + 2 grandparents + 15 passenger van (yes, you read that right) + 10 days= a very interesting time. And that's all I'm going to post about that. :)

Finally, I have a huge prayer request. D plays softball with our church youth minister (J) and after the game Monday, he was pulled aside by J to talk privately. When D got in the car, I asked him what it was all about and he told me that J asked him to pray about it and then talk to me. I told him he better pray really fast! haha. J told him that there is a 16 year-old girl in the youth group who is pregnant and contemplating abortion. J has been counseling her and since he's a reference for us for foster care, he knows about our situation, so he asked us if we would be interested in adopting the baby. D and I both prayed about it Monday night- apparently he fell asleep praying about it and dreamed that we adopted the baby, and when he woke up, he was so excited. We both knew right away that we were supposed to give her this option, not that we know she's going to decide to do this, but we know that we would rather that baby live. D called J yesterday evening and told him our answer, so J will be talking to her soon (maybe today). He also was going to contact a lawyer that goes to church and talk to him about the situation to see, if she decides to do this, what would happen next.

Please, please pray for this teenage mother. I can't imagine the emotions and fears she's feeling right now. Of course we would love to be the parents and raise this child, but my prayer right now is that she chooses life for this baby, whether it be her raising the child or placing it in an adoptive home. If your views on abortion prevent you from praying that, just pray for her as she's going through this.

Six...

...more days of school!

I am ready to be done with this school year.

This summer, I plan on doing lots of things:

• work on my tan
• read!
• go to the library!
• finally go get my massage that I was given for our anniversary last June
• trip to the beach
• trip to Colorado with D's family
• visit the state capital
• go to a minor league baseball game
• try out this famous bbq place
• work on fixing up a bassinet that D found on Craig's List (think positive thoughts, Les)
• spend time with friends

I can't wait!

6 more days. (!)

And she showed...

Yep, AF has arrived. I really find it funny that it never fails... once I speak about it being late, it shows up the next day.

As for the news that I've been meaning to share on here... well, it's a long story- but here goes!

The appointment with the RE went really well. We came out very encouraged with the success rate they thought was appropriate for us- 70-80% each cycle. She gave us each things that we need to do- blood work, the dreaded HSG, and D's biopsy, of course. The estimated price of this IVF adventure... $14,000. Have I ever mentioned that IF really stinks?

Needless to say, we don't have that kind of money readily available. We've been saving since January because it was becoming pretty clear that starting our family would not be cheap. But we are nowhere near that amount. And I will not let infertility drive us into debt.

As I've mentioned before, I would love to have a summer baby due to teaching and time off. This would mean that we would need to have the money saved up by August so we could do IVF in September. And if we don't have the money saved, we would need to wait another year. The probability of us having the money in a few more months is pretty slim. And I couldn't stand the thought of waiting until next year, having a failed cycle and being in the exact same situation again.

At the same time, the idea of foster care has continued to be brought to mind. In fact, I shared this with someone 1-2 months ago, but told them there's no way I could ever do it. Insert this tugging at my heart and the need to do something (anything!) while we're waiting, we found ourselves at an informational meeting last week and have been busily working on the application to become foster parents! We're both super excited but nervous and scared at the same time. We realize that while we'll be able to provide a safe, loving environment for a child or two, the heartbreak we'll experience if/when they are removed from our home for permanent placement will be difficult to endure. We would love to be able to adopt out of foster care, but are also aware that the younger the child is, the more likely that relatives will show up wanting to care for them. And as D likes to say, "We want a baby."

Classes start June 1st and end June 24th. Then we have our home study and (hopefully) will be certified!

In closing this post, I want to share the song that really got this all started. I know, it sounds so cliche that a simple song could spark someone to make such a drastic decision from the path they were originally on, but it's true.



I've never seen the movie "Fireproof" and really had no idea when I first heard this song that it was from this movie. But now I think I'm going to have to watch it... it'll be a tear jerker.

A thought just occurred to me... this song completely goes with the title of my blog!

42

No, that's not the number of days of school left. Praise the Lord, the count is down to 9 days!

It's not that domino game my in-laws love playing so much that I dread hearing the clinking sound of dominoes being dumped onto a table.

It's my cycle day number. My cycle is usually 32-34 days. I know that there's no way (let me repeat- no. way.) that a pregnancy could be possible. At least I don't think there is.

I partly believe that just writing this down will bring AF on soon.

We'll see...

Gray Day

It's been an overcast, sometimes rainy, day today. That's not a good mix when dealing with 5 year-olds suffering from Spring Fever. But oh well! Tomorrow's Friday! Which means jean day at my school.

I. love. jeans.

They are so much more comfortable to teach in and just make an already great day even more awesome. I don't know how those of you with "regular" jobs make it through the week without a jean day. But then there are those like my husband who gets to wear jeans every day to his casual office. Or like my brother-in-law who wears shorts (!) to work. That's field day-only attire for me!

Anyway, off the jeans subject. I finally got through to the RE's office today to make an appointment. It's so hard to make an appointment before they close at 4:30 with after school meetings and duties and extra-curricular activities. But I did today. And I thought they were kidding when they told me the next available appointment.

Are you ready for this?







Thursday April 22 at 9:30 am.

That's right. I have an appointment a week from today.

Can you believe it?

I can't! I seriously thought I wouldn't get an appointment until sometime this summer. And now I have one in a week!

When I told the girl on the phone that I didn't expect to get in this soon, she told me that the wait for an appointment is usually at least a month- but for some reason this doctor has an opening next week. Yay!

Now off to fill out one of the forms they want completed before the appointment...

Thank you!

Thanks for all the advice. I'm going to go ahead and make an appointment with a RE- I tried to today, but the office was closed by the time I got home...

D and I had an interesting weekend. We went through several highs and lows in just two days. Needless to say, I need a weekend from my weekend. It all started Friday night when we were both being stubborn about where to go to eat dinner. An hour and a half later after driving all over the great city we live in, we were home ordering a pizza and making up. ;)





On Saturday, we were both lazy bums for most of the day. We did finally get out and do some yard work in our backyard. My legs hurt from hauling, dumping, and spreading mulch. Bags of mulch are heavy. WET bags of mulch are impossible to carry! (Note: Doesn't our sago palm look sad?! After the hail storm last year and our freezing/snowy winter, I'm not sure he's going to survive!)

At one point during the day, D decided to email his doctor because he didn't believe me that IVF costs pretty much the same amount each time you do the procedure. He thought you paid that much once, and then it would be cheaper each time after. ha! I know there are places that offer deals depending on how many times you go through the procedure and even offer refunds if its not successful. Anyway, when D found out that I was, indeed, correct, he was pretty bummed. And he cried. Finally. It has seemed like this has taken its toll on me emotionally more so than him, so to see him experience the emotions I have been was indescribable. Of course, I cried with him. We just sat on the couch, holding each other, and let the tears flow.

Last night, D and I spent some time talking about how we are going to afford this. If we can afford this. If this is the right decision. What the right decision is. We really are torn. While in one sense, we feel like we've gotten great news to be able to attempt IVF to conceive our own child, we don't know if that's what we're supposed to do right now. We're going to go ahead and talk to the RE, find out more about the process, etc. And we're going to be praying. Hard.

2nd round of results!

The results came back normal! for the second genetic test. I am so thankful! This means we move onto ICSI/IVF! Woo-hoo! Excited, much?

We emailed his doctor to let him know about the results and to find out exactly what the next step would be. His reply: If you and your wife are committed to ICSI/IVF and everything is arranged on her end with reproductive OB, then we would proceed with testis biopsy and harvest.

What does this mean? Do we need to find a RE? Do I talk to my normal OB/GYN? I kinda feel like we should find out the condition of the swimmers before bringing more doctors into it. I need help! :) Let me know what you did! Thank you!